


Of Bluetooth's & Ghosts

by genderwitch



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: 0 to 100 real quick, M/M, Smut, phone sex but not, please don't take this too seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-25
Updated: 2018-04-25
Packaged: 2019-04-27 16:33:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14429679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderwitch/pseuds/genderwitch
Summary: A fill for the prompt "How much dirty talk can you listen to before cracking in your meeting?" from the Buzzfeed After Dark writing challenge!!! Huge thanks to the writers' discord (especially Ella) and please enjoy!





	Of Bluetooth's & Ghosts

        The plastic of the bluetooth earpiece in Ryan’s ear had been digging into his skin for the past ten minutes. He was afraid to adjust it for fear of it being detected in the packed meeting room, so instead sat in silence with the discomfort, eyes cast down as not to draw suspicion.

        Ryan had been dragged into a video which, in retrospect, probably wasn’t a great idea to film during a board meeting with his executives, but hindsight is 20/20. The video prompted the question: “how long can someone last in a meeting listening to dirty talk without reacting”. Again, why Ryan agreed to this was beyond him. (He knew exactly why, Shane pulled out that stupid pout he always pulls when Ryan doesn’t want to entertain one of his chaotic plans, and it works every damn time. Fuck that guy.)

        It was only the beginning of the meeting, so far relatively uneventful, and up until this point Ryan had received no indication that the earpiece was active, no voices or crackling had come through. He began to relax, almost forgetting about the video as the suits in front of him droned on about whatnot, skimming the charts and graphs in front of him on his laptop without really absorbing anything.

        Ryan’s daydreaming was interrupted as a sharp blast of white noise pierced his ear, causing him to start and momentarily draw the attention of the room. Face hot and hands fidgeting, he mumbled a quick apology and averted his eyes, inspecting his fingernails as casually as he could (which, in this case, was not casual at all). Ryan anxiously waited for clarity, crackling and beeping continuing on as he did his best to school his features.

        After a beat of silence, a familiar voice drifted into Ryan’s ear.

        “Ryan…...it’s me…..the bluetooth ghost!” Shane practically sang in a spooky voice. The cartoonishness only added to Ryan’s anger. They had set up a chat on his computer so he could respond to the ear piece if need be, and to tell them to stop when he needed to. He typed a quick ‘Fuck you, Shane’ into the chat box, trying his hardest not to slam the enter key to add emphasis. A chuckle was heard over the line and Ryan tried not to let the softness it caused him to show.

        “Alright, really. Are you ready baby?” Shane asked. Ryan opened his mouth to respond, to protest the petname out of habit and immediately clamped his mouth shut. (He absently wondered if this was what it was like to talk to ghosts, dismissing the thought as he realized he hadn’t answered Shane yet.) This was going to be harder than he thought. He stole a glance around the room, making sure no one was watching him as he began typing again, sending ‘just get on with it. i Hate you.’

        “Aw, love you too little guy,” Shane cooed. Ryan could _hear_ the grin in his voice and it was sweet and infuriating all at once. He waited for Shane to say something next, the silence only confirming Ryan’s suspicion that his boyfriend was nervous too. This public display of intimacy was definitely new territory. The pair rarely exhibited PDA around the office, let alone engaged in whatever this was. He could faintly hear Shane ask someone “do I just….go for it?” His voice came back at full volume, clear but still nervous.

        “Haha, okay. Let’s get this show on the road, I guess,” Shane said. Ryan sent a quick ‘do you still want to do this?’ and waited for a response. The silence was making him anxious. He quickly added on ‘you can say no, I really don’t care either way.’ Even though Ryan was still a bit wary of the video’s concept, he regrettably found it exciting. But no project was worth making Shane uncomfortable.

        “Dammit, sorry, I’m fine, I nodded and forgot you couldn’t see that.” Another nervous chuckle. “Just, pretend we’re at home. Zone out like you usually do at meetings, pretend the rest of the room isn’t there.”

        _The rest of the room_ ** _is_** _here, that’s the point,_ Ryan thought. Nevertheless, he did his best to tune out, sitting in a way that looked like he was intently staring at his screen. He hoped his face didn’t betray the thoughts running through his mind, none of them about today’s meeting.

         “Good job, baby. Just like that. Relax, let me do all the work. Sit there lookin’ pretty for me.” If the arousal Shane’s words shot through him wasn’t enough, his voice had dropped to a low drawl, sending a flash of heat down Ryan’s spine, settling low, just below the butterflies currently having a rave in his stomach at the thought of someone overhearing. “The hidden cameras aren’t very clear, but I’m betting you’re starting to blush right about now, aren’t you?” Ryan stopped himself from nodding his head, trying not to get lost in the hypnotizing commands being whispered to him.

        “Do you remember the first time I went down on you, Ryan? I do. I remember you peeling off that ridiculous white t-shirt with the stupidly revealing dip. I remember being able to see the blush on your chest already because of that damn shirt, but seeing that your whole body flushed when you finally took it off. God, Ryan, I don’t think I’ve ever felt _hungry_ for someone before that night.” Ryan was drowning in Shane’s voice, memories of that night flooding into Ryan’s mind as he began to shift uncomfortably in the squeaky office chair he’d been provided. The plastic creak drew a couple of looks, Ryan ducking his head and typing nonsense into his computer until the wandering eyes moved on.

He couldn’t tell what was getting to him more, the voyeuristic shame prickling on his face or this new side of Shane he’d never heard before. Dirty talking wasn’t anything new between them, but it was usually followed by a wise-crack, or cut off altogether when things got heated and neither felt the need for words. Shane had never just _spoken_ to him in such an indulgent way, and Ryan had no choice but to sit still and take it. His hands clamped tightly to the edge of the table for grounding; so he wouldn't be swept up in the waves of arousal, wouldn't erase the existence of the very real other people in the meeting.

        Ryan repositioned himself, keeping his movements minimal as to avoid another loud squeak coming from his chair. Eventually he settled, planting his feet flat on the ground and eagerly awaiting Shane’s next order

        “Can you feel me, Ryan? Can you feel me biting your hips? I can feel you, feel your fingers when you pulled on my hair and came down my throat.” Ryan jolts, incidentally shoving his chair backwards and covering a choked back moan with a cough. He waves an apology, awkwardly rolls the chair back under the table, and hooks an ankle with a table leg to stop himself from running away. He was lucky the lights were dimmed for the projector as he was sure his skin had to look as on fire as it felt. Ryan swore he heard a low groan before the next words traveled through the earpiece.

        “Have I ever told you how pretty you look on your knees? I don’t know if I believe in soulmates, but the way your lips look wrapped around my dick, Ryan they _belong_ there, all stretched out and wet.” Shane’s voice was definitely getting breathier, but that was the least of Ryan’s concerns right now. “When you looked up at me through those lashes I was done for, Ry. Totally done for. Do you know all I could think about for the rest of the week was how fucked out you looked sucking me off? You live for it, don’t you? You crave it. You looked like you wanted to spend the rest of your life on your knees for me, making me feel good. Is that what you want, baby? Want-” Before Shane could finish whatever dirty question he was asking Ryan was haphazardly typing “STOP” into the hidden chat, cringing at the loud clacking of his keyboard. The receiver crackled in his ear, as if Shane was leaning forward.

        “Shit, shit sorry, Ryan, are you okay? Was that- I’m sorry, shit,” Shane sputtered out. Shakily Ryan typed out ‘i’m fine. it’s okay. jsut need a break.’ Shane’s voice came back through the com,”Yeah, of course. Sorry if that was too much.” Another nervous chuckle. Hearing Shane speak so casually helped ground Ryan a bit. He had come too close to running full speed out of that meeting and straight to whatever recording room Shane was in.

        A few minutes passed, Ryan taking the time to actually listen to what the speaker in front of him had to say, the boring statistics an easy cool-down. ‘ok. doing better. hit me’ Ryan sent, rolling his eyes at the expected yet endearing “oh, I plan on it.” He shot back an almost instinctual ‘shut up shane.’ A quick glance around the room let him know that no one was watching, all the other attendees giving the speaker just as little attention as he was. He also noted that the projected slide, half shadowed over by the speaker, seemed to be a summary of today’s meeting- more importantly that it would be drawing to a close soon. Ryan wasn’t sure where they’d placed the cameras, but gave a small nod to let Shane know it was okay to start again. Ryan heard a steady inhale from the small speaker and prepared himself for whatever Shane was going to hit him with next.

        “You’ve been holding on so well for me, baby. So good for me. I think you’ve earned something special for being so patient today, don’t you?”

It took all Ryan had in him not to whimper at that, gripping the arm rests of his chair with white knuckles as images of what may come flashed through his mind. “What do you want, hm? Want me to make you feel good? I could make you wait until that meeting room clears, make you stand there and wait for me. And as soon as everyone leaves, I could bend you over that desk and eat you out nice and slow. Do you want that, baby? Want me to eat you out until you’re shaking?” Before another word could come through the earpiece the overhead lights were flicked on, the fluorescent yellow harshly bringing Ryan back to reality.

        “And that concludes our meeting for today! Now, if you’d please stay late for a moment there are some signatures we-.” Not paying any attention to the words coming out of the speaker’s mouth, Ryan slammed his laptop shut, dashing out of the room and throwing back a half-hearted “Have a good day, sirs!” He went straight towards the A.V. room he knew Shane was in. He didn’t even bother dropping his computer off at his desk, briskly making his way through the busy hallways of the Buzzfeed office while doing his best to conceal the rather obvious bulge in his jeans.

 _If Shane thought he was leaving this office without delivering what he promised_ , Ryan thought, _he had another thing coming_.

* * *

 

        Weeks later, Ryan is approached about filming a sequel to “How Long Can Someone Listen To Dirty Talk In A Meeting Without Breaking”. Shane had raised a concern with the first video being a solo vid, claiming Ryan never truly broke and fans wouldn’t be satisfied. To the producer’s surprise, Ryan agreed. He thought there should be a sequel.

        But if Shane thought Ryan would be the one in the hot seat this time, he was in for quite the surprise.

**Author's Note:**

> I seriously could not have completed this without Ella ( http://lesbiancleophas.tumblr.com/ ) sitting down and helping me edit this monstrosity, please go give her love! Also you can find me on tumblr here: https://bigfootshane.tumblr.com/ come yell at me or something I don't know


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